Forgotten Melody of her Heart
by FoKc
Summary: People often see what they think they want, but not all of us knows what a heart wants. Original story inspired by Jane Austen-like bbc series.
1. Prologue

Prologue

In the darkness of stormy night, when no good news would come, when there's no better and wiser deed as to stay in the warmth of roaring fire, a young boy were to leave his only home to study in a very prestigious school which coincidentally was also very far away from life as he knew it till this day. His mother's bed was not yet cold and still he would never feel her gentle hands on his shoulders. Strangely but Richard could not remember her voice that was like a soft singing of piano under skilled hands of a virtuoso. He could only feel coldness of her gravestone as he laid his hand upon it. He came here to say a last goodbye before a long road, she had told him hers just a week ago. Richard will not cry for her, for she is yet in better place. Not with her cruel husband who wasn't loyal or gentle to her even one day of their marriage, not with these gossiping and judging crones who only made her life harder. But also she wasn't with him. Richard loved his mother and yet she was ripped so early from his hands by severe illness. Doctors could make her suffering less but deep down he knew she lost her will to live. Even his love for her was not enough anymore to bear all of the pain which some calls 'life'.

For that he promised himself to always hate his father who now was standing near him. His decision to send Richard away was, on the one hand, a blessing for a boy because he couldn't bear a thought of living with this monster. But on the other hand, the world before the little boy was so big and dark and lonely, he could never imagine piece or a place there for himself. Yet there's things we must do and paths we must take. Looking out from the blurry window of his carriage he thought that his home vanished long before Carford Mansion could no longer be seen. At the age of 11, Richard Carford was absolutely alone.


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

"_There's no silliest way to spend your time as to mingle around this pretentious people_" - thought Kate to herself as she was dragged by her best and only friend to the busiest area of ballroom. Lily enjoyed such gatherings a lot, all this dancing, chatting, gossiping. She leaved and breathed these moments of social entertainment to such extend that sometimes Kate hardly believed they were friends. Everything about them was different. Lily Hemstill née Bouvier was strikingly beautiful which helped her to get a really rich and powerful husband but, as it usually is, brought her no happiness. And yet there was no man or woman who didn't admire her in this room or whole London for that matter. Her porcelain-white skin with contrast of incredibly glossy dark hair made her look like a really exquisite doll. Her manners were perfect, her thoughts were perfect. She was ideal. What you can't say about Kate. And here you must hear the truth: She wasn't ugly and many would say she was cute, not breathtakingly beautiful, of course, but still pretty. Yes, she was of average height, yes, she didn't have such lush forms as most girls but she had never considered herself an ugly duckling. Her eyes were what draw you in as soon as she rewards you with her attention. Slightly big for her face with long lashes, they had something mysterious deep within that someone had yet to discover. They have been best friends since no one can remember. Lily helped her throughout childhood when children can be cruel, their friendship helped Kate when her father, of higher lineage but poor financial decisions, died and left her and her mother alone to live a very modest life. Kate Pembsy wasn't considered as eligible bride but that almost made her happy for she didn't suffer from attention of too many suitors. Frankly speaking the only person interested in her was John Bouvier, Lily's cousin. Their long talks and rare walks were only making Kate's decision of her fate as old spinster stronger.

Kate didn't ever bother to remember who gave this ball or why it was. Such things didn't really matter for her. You can't say she was antisocial but she didn't go out often. She preferred quiet and peaceful ways to spend her time like reading or walking or playing piano, but last option, the one that had made her the happiest, was sadly no longer an option. As girls moved hand in hand across the room, Kate thought of all of the books which waited her home right now and screamed to be read. That's why she didn't notice fast enough where Lily lead her. "_Not this time. Not again_"

Kate tried to slip away but it was too late. Mrs. Hemstill, an old and highly respected lady, an aunt of Lily's husband, had already seen them. And now was floating to Lily and Kate to greet them. Don't get me wrong, Kate loved this woman for her heartwarming hugs and wise words, but her constant wish to make Kate someone's wife made it hard for young lady to appreciate all of the rest. The crowd parted respectfully before her and in no time they were exchanging formal pleasantries.

- Dear Lily, such a pleasure you brought for me tonight. I am not only happy to see you but also our lovely Kate. Where have you been hiding from me, dear child? I have missed you imminently! – her all-knowing smile couldn't fool anyone. They both knew why and yet lady Hemstill will never cease her work. – You wouldn't guess who is here tonight; look there he is, dancing with my silly Olivia.

At first, Kate didn't understand where to look. Dancing figures were like one colorful moving blur in her eyes but past just some seconds her eyes were awarded with the sight of the most gorgeous human-being on the earth. Lean tall figure with perfect grace that made you believe people can fly danced in the very center of the room with delirious of happiness Olivia on his arms. Kate had yet to see a face of a man but she was already sure from that other side he is also ideal. Last notes were played and pairs began to leave dance floor. Enigmatic man with a name that Kate hadn't yet heard came to them and bowed politely. He turned to Olivia and smiled taking his hand out of her grip. It was obvious she hoped for one dance more and then more and than a house full of children and his name as her last one. The name that Kate wanted to know already.

- Mrs. Hemstill, now I do believe, I have danced with all pretty women in this building – said he looking at Olivia with the same polite but somehow warm smile, which made the young girl blush and undoubtedly fall harder for this man.

- Well, I believe that you haven't met one of the most gentle flowers in this garden! –with that she turned to Lily looking for Kate to her unspeakable dread.

Kate stood slightly behind Lily who with her above average height and ridiculously fluffy skirts hid young lady. But not enough for Kate's wish. Coming in sight Kate bowed slightly not looking directly in the eyes of the man. Sudden panic gripped her posture making her seem a little distant and cold. Kate knew what Mrs. Hamstill was trying to do. But even she must understand he is not from her league.

- Mr. Carford, let me introduce you Ms. Kate Pembsy, a good friend of my dearest Lily. – her whole being was light up by her intentions. Olivia looked a bit pouty but for her lady Hamstill had completely another suitor in mind.

Kate couldn't understand why his smile for her wasn't as warm as for Olivia. He smiled, of course, but his eye was getting colder by each inch of her that he inspected with his icy blue look. Well, it's not the truth, she could understand. She had always met that look at such gatherings. She despised people despising her social status. Since she has been a child some talks and looks always followed her wherever she would go. Sins of her father, his speculations not only made them poor but also hated by lots of other people. The ones who didn't hate her for that disdain her for her appearance. Yes, her dress was not so luxurious and lush. But she loved it, it was simple but fitted her perfectly and she was absolutely sure that pale blue color of it made her hair more vibrant. She was never ashamed of her income but she let no one judge her for it. As his inspection was finished Mr. Carford looked back in the now slightly annoyed eyes of Kate and took her hand to kiss. All of this was too awkward for Kate so she jerked her hand from his even before his lips touched her pearl-white glove. Nobody noticed but the two of them.

- If you say so, Mrs. Hemstill. – his words were simple but cut her deep.

As if she ignored this whole scene Mrs. Hemstill continued to make her plan come true.

- This is a truly beautiful composition for you two to dance – exclaimed she practically pushing Kate and Mr. Carford together. – It will please my old aching heart.

After such words even already angry Kate couldn't go against lady's will. She felt his hand on her elbow tugging her to the dance floor. Kate shoot desperate glance to Lily as if begging her to end this farce but her friend were powerless to do anything. In the end Mrs. Hemstill always gats what she wants.

Dreading next couple minutes of awkward and stiff silence Kate took a deep breath and stood in the position. These last seconds without music continued forever. At last with all of her courage she looked up in the face of Mr. Carford to see his somehow pained expression and closed eyes. " _My God, what's wrong with you!_" With determination to get away from him after the dance is over, Kate took another deep breath and look away.

Richard felt how young lady in his hands stiffened and sighed. Impatience and annoyance was all he could see in the curve of her neck because she had turn away from him as if he was a tall pile of rubbish. He squeezed her hand a little and the dance started.

He was a really good dancer. "_But not so good person_" thought Kate to herself and still she couldn't deny the fact that she was enjoying that fleeting moment of bliss. His body was warm and strong giving her the feeling of peace. If only she could forget for a moment his attitude. Music got into slower part and she dared to look at him one more time. She was the least to say surprised to meet a pair of blue eyes staring intently at her. For a moment she wanted to say something, to confront him, to make him see the fault of his immediate judgment but she had no chance.

- Do I seem so displeasing to you? – said he in hushed tone not to draw attention of other dancers. It was not in the Richard's nature to leave questions unanswered.

This question confused Kate for a second but she could not shake the feeling off that he might make fun of her. She decided to put him to shame and maybe offend him a bit. Looking straight to his eyes and keeping her head high she said:

- I do strongly believe, Mr. Carford, that no one must bear with the company which is unpleasant and considered a burden. Don't you think so?

With that their dance was over. She bowed to him in a hurry and almost ran away from the room to get some fresh air. Standing in the middle of the room alone, Richard thought how strange are the paths that we take.


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Richard was a pretty lonely child. After his mother's death and father's betrayal he didn't really look for anyone to get attached to. And why would he want that? Everybody in his life has left him behind. At first he missed his mother greatly. His first days and nights without her he spent in her bedroom sitting at the foot of the bed which still smelled of her presence. He found comfort in the soft fabric of a blanket as if it was her touch. No one tried to speak with him. Father's servants didn't notice the boy. They had a lot of work with his father's constant debaucheries and a too small salary to pay attention. Or they just didn't care if you would ask Richard. Often he would starve for days in his own home. But he refused to go out and nobody wanted to visit that room. When he thought his life wouldn't get any worse his father denied him the right to name this place home. All Richard could do is to make him a promise that he would never need anyone in his life.

And for a long time it was so. First years of boarding school made him harder and sourer. He learned very fast that a man without alliances was weak. All these spoiled and boastful children always made him sick. But from the very young age he understood that appearance was more important in this world and no one cared for your personality. Money and power made you a significant person and it didn't matter how many sins your soul was carrying. Being forced to accept their "friendship", Richard lost his faith in relationships without mutual benefits. He was almost 18 and could name nobody his friend.

He was remarkable at school. Mathematical subjects, arts, languages – it all was areas of his success. Never before and after had teachers praised anybody more than him. Everybody was sure of his great future in politics till the very day his father ruined his life again. Richard had never received any notes from him. But it was enough he paid for his education. One day a principle had asked Richard to follow him for private talk. From the venerable old man he learned that his father had squandered his fortune and was put in debtor's prison. First feeling of Richard was some sense of joy. Finally, this monster got what he deserved. But when he saw an old man's bitter smile he realized that the bad decisions of his father again touched his life. Thus the most brilliant pupil was forced to leave the walls of the school, which had already become his home.

His path was difficult and he struggled at every turn. Richard did everything to get his name out of the mud which was cursed with his father's reputation and debts. That was quite difficult. Only after years of work, risky investments, ups and downs, he managed to become what he was now. And he was a significant powerful man these days. Many would say that he was too young to posses such vast fortune but only Richard knew what it took to get there. He was one of the most eligible bachelors of the whole British Empire. In his possession was perhaps everything from newspapers to textile factories. Such a wealthy man can't be invisible for upper society. He was often an object of women admiration and envy of men. Young, rich and attractive, he was considered an ideal candidate for a husband. However, as time went on Richard was in no hurry to get married. There were several reasons for that and one of them was his friend George.

Richard's cynical views on friendship were destroyed by George Dortem. At that moment when a young Richard was again left with nothing fate presented him with a gift. Their friendship blossomed slowly but till these days Richard knew no one so lucky to have such a friend. And now sitting in the George's house he thought why good people were bound to suffer more than anyone else.

Marriage was always marked with suffering in Richard's eyes. His parents weren't happy, his friend wasn't either. George had married young. A naive boy and a fool, he was fascinated with his chosen one not noticing her obvious vices. Needless to say Richard never approved her but seeing his friend so in love with Annabelle, he didn't dare to break his illusions. His silence always haunted him later when it turned out George's wife was not only his. At first her adulteries were discreet and for a long time clueless George thought he found his heaven. But Richard always knew about the secret nature of his friend's wife as she kept trying to seduce him. Therefore he wasn't a frequent visitor at their house.

I've heard you've crazed London's society last week at General's ball! Have you meet anyone interesting? – mocked George sipping freshly brewed tea from exquisite porcelain cup.

As if I need to tell you gossips that all London whispered not so behind my back.

You must agree not every day women deny your company. I deeply regret that I've missed such a show. – his friend smiled and continued - Who is this marvelous girl? It would be an honor to meet the only woman immune to your charms.

Although it was meant as a joke Richard couldn't miss bitterness in his friend's voice. They had never talked about Annabelle and her interest in Richard, and probably never would as for both of them this friendship was very precious.

- I've seen a lot of young absent-minded women to say you, my friend, there's nothing special in Ms. Pambsy. Her temper is not proper for a young lady and her manners are poor for a girl of her origin.- said Richard coldly looking out of the window.

But he couldn't fool his friend so easily as he saw that Richard's eyes weren't seeing his lush green lawns and trees of his manor. To anyone unfamiliar with Mr. Carford it would seem that he was at the moment cold and even repulsed. As if the object of his thoughts did not bring him any pleasure. But George knew better.

Richard indeed didn't see a picturesque view outside. He purposely turned away from his friend to hide his confused emotions. He couldn't make sense out of feelings that Kate Pambsy evoked in him let alone show them to anyone.

You do know, if you are in need of a wife, my dear mother will be more than happy to help you. Since her own son is already lost to her, for you she still has hope. – George got up and stood by Richard's side – You are the most stubborn man that I know, Richard Carford, but you really shouldn't shut yourself away!

Do you, my friend, speak to me of love? - laughed Richard looking back at his friend. Gloomy shadows left his face as he laid his hand on George's shoulder. - You know how much of the value marriage is for me but thank you for your concerns. Oh, I totally forgot I am invited to the dinner at Lady Hemstill's and am already late. – announced Richard hiding his watch into a pocket. – Would you care to join me?

Wait a minute… Has Mrs. Lily Hemstill invited you? Then I wouldn't dare to miss it one more time! What are the chances of meeting Ms. Pambsy there? - excited words of George slowly reached Richard's mind as he did not expect such a turn of events agreeing last week to visit her dinner party before Ms. Pambsy accident.

I hope there's none for we don't need another scene. Besides, we are going not to lady Lily but to her aunt. Kate Pambsy is famous for avoiding such sorts of entertainments so I must disappoint you, George. - said Richard convincing himself more than his friend.

Sitting in a carriage on the way to the house of a respected lady Hemstill, Richard wasn't sure for what he hoped more.


End file.
